Don't Be a Frodo.

Good evening chums,

This isn't the second part to my journey, it's just some random thoughts.  I will finish the second part however.  It just seems to be taking a while.  I've been extremely sick the last two days and have done nothing but lay around and watch Lord of the Rings.  Oh and I went to the doctor....which is just my favorite thing to do >:(  and of course they just said it's probably a cold.  I guess that it's my mom's fault then for taking me with such common symptoms because it's not like the doctor made me come in.  OH WELL. The deed is done.

I wanna talk about the Lord of the Rings today......if you haven't seen it then you won't understand this lol, and you're also crazy because they are some of the best movies ever.  But I was thinking about it tonight..........did Frodo truly accomplish what he set out to do? I mean ultimately the ring was destroyed but that's because Smeagol had it on and fell over the cliff.  Frodo did not make the choice to throw the ring in the fire and end all evil.....he made the choice to put the ring on.  After he had come that far, he caved in.    Doesn't that kinda equal an epic fail?
And then there is the end when Frodo gets on the boat with Gandolf to go to some place where there is pure bliss and where he would be at peace.  Sometimes I wish I could get on a mystical boat and sail away to some random utopia lol.  Then I realized, Frodo basically gave up.  He left because he couldn't find peace in the shire.  It's like he just became extremely jaded after trying to destroy the ring and since he had been through so much, he could never go back to the way things were.  You can't blame him.  But at the same time, haven't we all been in that position before?  Maybe not to that extreme, but I know there has come a time in everyone's life where they can't find peace and they just can't take it anymore.  As a christian the only answer is to seek out God.  Don't be a frodo.  No matter how much you've been through, don't give up.  Maybe I'm crazy for making LOTR analogies, or maybe this will help someone lol.
Speaking of being jaded, I think that's what describes me best lately.  I think I'm a lot like Frodo.  I need to take my own advice and not be that way but it's easier said than done.  After going through such a deep, dark depression one would think that you could only get happier.  Wrong.  You just expect for bad things to happen, and when bad things do happen it's......well they just happen it is what it is.  You just feel numb. And being numb scares me.
As I read over this I realize that there's a lot of work still to be done, not that I thought the work needed to stop but I'm not as ahead as I thought I was.  But no matter how depressed or jaded I get, I know God is there.  Even if I can't feel him or see him or hear him, he's there.  Even if I don't feel him for years, he's there.  He just wants me to walk on my own for now.